Valentine's Day

GIRLFRIENDS, February 2008, by Karla Belfon


Valentine’s Day
Don’t be bitter, be better…
make your day - YOUR WAY!


heartsThere’s a whole romantic history to Valentine’s Day, how it got started, the love letters and so on. But this article is about how it changed and how we’ve learned to feel about ourselves every February 14th.

It wasn’t long before the romance turned into chocolate stuffed velvet boxes, teddy bears with  I LUV U t-shirts, sparkly cards with poems and candy grams. Store owners realized they could make a bunch of money selling Valentine’s day ‘stuff’. People saw it and had to have it and we measured our worth by how much of this stuff we got or gave. All the ads about ‘love’, and ‘sweethearts’ and all those romantic things now make us want to be a part of it even more. But what happens if you don’t have a special someone or there isn’t anyone crushing on you right now?

heartsSadly, lots of us can sometimes feel pretty left out and grumpy about this whole ‘Valentine’s love day’. But we sure don’t have to.

MY GRUMPY V-DAY: Last Valentine’s day I was SINGLE. Me and two of my girlfriends sat in a restaurant eating shrimp Alfredo wishing we had sweethearts. Sitting at the table directly in front of us was a happy couple playing tonsil hockey (if you know what I mean) in front of everyone, EW! It was like a reminder of what Valentine’s day was ‘supposed’ to be like. I wanted to throw stuff at them and call out “Down with Valentine’s day!”

Yeah, I was grumpy about it. I went home and cried, while indulging my pity party with a half pint of Ben and Jerry’s. It was a sad scene.

heartsMAKE IT YOUR WAY: For those of you not thinking, “Karla you are so cool - I want to be just like you this Valentine’s day,” good for you! You can make the smart realization sooner than I did.

I realized that while greeting card stores and flower shops were making a killing off this ONE crazy day, I wasted a perfectly great evening with my girlfriends. Instead of girly conversation, laughs and indulging in yummy desserts... we pouted about what we DIDN’T have. Did we pout the day before or the day after? NO. So why did we let ourselves get upset on that day?

heartsWe got taken by the media hype and how we didn’t fit in. I say: “whether or not you get a candy-gram or a carnation from the cutie you’ve been eyeing in history class all year, or whether or not you’re crushin’ on, or being crushed on... make your own V-Day rules!”

I mean seriously, it’s not like we at least get the day off or anything! I say don’t take it so seriously. There are lots of people in our lives who we love and appreciate, not just BFs and crushes. And you don’t HAVE to buy anything; you can make a card, email a poem or send a song. If you DO have cash to spend, try not to get caught up in all the hype. Any kind gesture that lets someone know you care will be appreciated. And don’t save it for one day a year. Go out with your girls or your parents…buy candy-grams, bring presents and exchange gifts. Tell each other what you appreciate about them. Remember, alone doesn’t have to mean lonely. Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day, don't do it bitter, do it BETTER! On February 15th life will go back to normal and the next V-day will be 364 days away. Whatever you did and whomever you spent it with won’t matter as much as whether or not you enjoyed it. Make it a Happy Valentine’s Day!

~Karla

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