How Can I Feel Better and Get His Attention?

BOYS, June 2007, by Jenifer Merifield

How can I feel better
and get his attention?

Dear Jenifer,
I have lots of friends, I'm 15, and people say that I'm fun to be around. I have had three boyfriends but none of them lasted more then a week and a half, which I consider for myself kind of sad. My friends say I'm pretty and stuff but there are times where I seriously doubt it. Yes, I do have guy friends but I can never get one of them to think of me in that way. I am an outgoing person but when it comes to guys I get shy. I know never to change myself for them, but the recent guy that I'm crushing on is clueless. What can I do to make me feel better about myself and get his attention?
~ Signed, Want To Be Noticed

Dear want to be Noticed,
Quite the dilemma...I imagine you must be very frustrated!

So you may be thinking that if you look, act or speak differently, then he'll notice you. You're trying so hard to figure out what it is HE likes, so you can be noticed.

Wouldn't you love to be able to read his mind right about NOW?!!

There really isn't a clear-cut answer to this kind of question. And you are not alone in the way you feel about this type of situation.

So let me ask you this: if you did know what he was thinking, would you change yourself? Say he liked more makeup for instance, or a louder personality, a certain hairstyle or body weight, would you change for him if you could?

You could try, but then are you really you anymore? You could pretend for a while, convince yourself that this is the new you and that you're fine with it... but what happens when you want him to like you for you? What happens when he doesn't want to do something you like and you feel disappointed because you were willing to change for him, but he won't do the same for you?

You're only hurting yourself and that's not cool. So in your strive to be your true self, you may not get the guy. And you know what? If you don't, he wasn't the right guy for you anyway. It may not seem like it at the time, and this sounds 'so Mom', but some day you'll be thankful it worked out that way.

Look back on something you thought was serious when you were a little kid. When I was 4, I wanted to be a Panda bear (don't laugh too hard!). But I mean I REALLY wanted to be a Panda bear. And When I learned I couldn't, I was devastated. I believed I would never get over it.

Seems like a ridiculous example, but it's all relative. What seems HUGE today, will not be such a big deal in the days to come

There is a saying that 'the sweetest apples are at the top of the tree, and no matter how hungry you are, it's worth waiting for the right one'. So in relation to guys and love, I can't tell you how to feel or what decision to make, but I will say that the right guy is worth waiting for, and he'll be the one you don't have to try hard for.

He'll just see you for you and that's what he'll love about you.


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