Are My Friends Really Friends?

DEAR DIARY, May 2007, by Nada Adams

Are My Friends
Really Friends?

Dear Diary,
I'm 15 and have had the same group of three friends for 2 years now. Sometimes we get into dumb fights about stuff, but mostly we're like best friends. So recently I got some good news. I'm going on a trip with my Dad to Europe and I'm excited about it because I've never been out of the country before. I guess I just keep talking about it because my so called "friends" are now all mean and stuff with me saying like "Oh, you always get to do stuff", "must be nice to have rich parents", "you always get what you want". I feel so sad. They're teasing me and making nasty comments and not hanging out with me any more. I don't know what to do. I do have great stuff in my life. My parents are awesome. I got on the volleyball team this year and I think my crush is starting to like me. Should I feel bad that good stuff is happening to me and not them? Should I keep stuff to myself so they don't feel bad? Should I buy them stuff so they have good things too? I want my friends back and I want them to like me again. Please help!
~ Lonely in Digby, NS

Dear Lonely,
Everyone we meet in life always fits in one of three categories. They are either in our life: for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime.

Sometimes you meet a person who smiles and compliments you to give you the added perk of feeling worthy. Other times, you meet people to help you realize and learn one or many lessons in life (perhaps one lesson would be to follow your passion and not your friends). The best of the three is when you find a friend that will last a lifetime. This person grows with you as you grow and develop, through thick and thin. Opportunities come to both of you and you continue to stay aligned in your values throughout your lives… this kind of friend is so special that less than a handful of people in our entire life will ever fit into this category.

If you choose to shrink and feel non-deserving of what you have, you will add to the despair in this world of the truckload of individuals who shrink, think small and live like a victim daily, wondering why life sucks. A victim is easily defined as someone who blames, complains and takes no accountability for the life they have now; it’s always some one else’s fault.

Do you know anyone who speaks like this?

What kind of friend would you be if you were dishonest with yourself just to fit in among your peers?

Don’t worry about being liked. I support you to focus on liking you again… just as you are. Be your own best friend and please, don’t buy your friendships, if you do, they will only last as long as your gifts keep coming. If your friends don’t appreciate you for who you are, with all your good fortune, then they aren’t really your friends. They are jealous because they believe they can’t have the same… which in reality is not necessarily true unless they believe that to be true. If they want what you have, they can have it, too. Not by being jealous and negative, but by being grateful for all they have and by radiating with joy and happiness with who they are today.

I would highly support you to keep those special thoughts and plans for your life to yourself until you develop a set of friends who are appreciative of you.

In the meantime, notice how you behave around your peers to be liked. If you start to shrink from your magnificence and pretend to be anyone other than special you, then you need new friends.

The friends you have today may only be for a season, and not a life time.

Yes, you are fortunate, blessed and privileged to have amazingly terrific things happen in your life. What that also tells me is that your mind set is that of positive vibration attracting opportunities you clearly want and think about.

Congratulations!!!! You are a great success already. Keep your head high and aim for the stars.

~Nada

Girls Can Do Anything Magazine

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