Dealing with Being Teased

DEAR DIARY, August 2008, by Nada Adams

Dealing With
Being Teased

Dear Nada,
I love your column. I know you would say to not care what anyone else says, but the other day someone called me a name about my body and it really upset me. Everything has been changing with my body for the last while and not everything is easy to hide. My Mom says I’m perfect the way I am and that everyone goes through puberty and it’s a part of life that will eventually pass. Mine seems to be more obvious and I’m trying to be fine about it. Now that I was called a name, I’m even more self conscious. I know I’m still a good person, but I was hoping you could help me think of a way to let it go.
~ 'Puberty-stricken' in Halifax

Dear Puberty-stricken in Halifax,
I’m delighted you’re enjoying this column. Thank you for sharing your heart with me and giving me the opportunity to tailor an answer especially for YOU!!

It’s a real strange thing when puberty hits. Our feelings are like a rollercoaster and our bodies are all of a sudden changing in ways that are hard to get used to.

Hey, it’s a process that every girl and guy at varying ages will experience. Some can reach puberty at 10 years of age while others do so closer to 16 or 17. The good news though, is that every grown up has been through it and knows exactly how you feel (even if they tease you)! Let me share with you one of my favourite mottos, ‘The sting is in the truth’. What this means is: when someone says or notices something about us that we don’t appreciate or accept (even though it’s true), it stings! For example, if someone dislikes their height, hair, skin or voluptuous body and someone makes a joke about such parts; that person would most likely take offence because deep in their heart, they feel there is some truth in what was said. However, the key here is to make a ‘Perspective Shift’. This could also be called a ‘shift change’ and I recommend it to you and everyone reading this. What that means is: when you hear something that upsets you, realize that you have the power to choose a new perspective... you can shift to hearing the comments in a positive perspective. Try saying (with emphasis), “I have the power of choice and I choose to love and accept myself just as I am now - Woohooo!”

Please always remember that WORDS (yours or someone else’s) can ONLY have the POWER that you give them! If you become more accepting of yourself (flaws and all), then when you hear teasing or negative comments, after a while you won’t even be fazed by them. Better yet, the teasers will quickly realize their efforts are not working on you so they’ll eventually just stop and pick on someone else. I promise this works! And, if someone laughs at you, don’t shrivel up and become sad and depressed; stand tall with confidence and LAUGH WITH THEM! When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever succeed at making you feel badly, ever, ever.

So my dear, don’t sweat the small stuff, because in the next 10 years, you will look back on these years and realize that the people who did the teasing were the ones who struggled the most. Insecure people often try to drag others down to their level so they’re not alone in their misery. Pointing out the faults of others helps them feel better about what they dislike about themselves.

Let your experiences of today shape you into the woman you aspire to be in the future: confident, healthy and successful... not insecure, self-sabotaging and uptight. For now, have fun practicing to laugh at yourself and in the process you will be accepting and loving yourself more and more.

~ Nada

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