Do I look FAT today?

BODY IMAGE + EATING DISORDERS, October 2008, Jen Charbonneau

Do I look
FAT today?


do i look fat today?Dear Jen,
Do people's eyes like see things differently from day to day? Seriously, because some days I feel okay and then the next I look in the mirror and I'm fat. I weigh the same butall of a sudden my arms look fat or my cheeks are chubby. Then a couple of days later, I'm normal in the mirror again. This is so FRUSTERATING.
~Feeling Fat, 16, Burlington, ON

Dear Feeling Fat,
I know that hundreds (probably even thousands) of other girls & women feel this very same way so THANK YOU so much for asking this question on behalf of girls everywhere.

Our eyes DEFINITELY see things differently from day to day. We look in the mirror one day and are pleased with the reflection staring back at us. But, that feeling is quickly replaced the very next day when the mirror suddenly turns into our worst enemy. The thing is, our body and weight hasn’t changed, we have.

The famous french author Anais Nin once said “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”. What she meant by this is our perception of how we see things changes when our feelings and moods change. So, if we are having a particularly bad day, the mirror will reflect harsh judgment and criticism of our body. We focus in on particular body parts, closely analyzing, looking for flaws. If our day is going well and we’re feeling good about ourselves, the mirror reflects our good feelings. What we see in the mirror completely depends on how we are feeling about ourselves in any given moment.

It’s not easy to look in the mirror and be happy with what we see when our society narrowly defines beauty based on a “perfect” reflected image. Girls of every age feel their value is measured by a commercially generated standard of beauty. We’ve learned that if we mold and shape our body to fit the fashion template of the day, then we’re good enough.

The reflected image in the mirror, the number on the weigh scale and the size of our jeans all seem like tangible ways for girls and women to decide if they “measure up.”

The statement “I feel fat” really means “I feel sad or I feel confused or I feel angry or I feel stressed.”

Fat is not a feeling. However, we have learned to use this encoded language to express our frustrations. So often, when life throws us a curve ball, we use our body and /or food to work through those conflicts and challenges.

Basing our sole self worth on this reflected mirror image seems ridiculous, but stopping such deeply ingrained patterns of judging ourselves can prove almost impossible!

The mirror is only a day to day snapshot of the outside. It can’t tell you who you are on the inside. It can’t measure how amazing you are as a friend. It can’t reflect your dreams and it has nothing to do with lasting happiness.

Try writing an uplifting message to yourself on your mirror with an old tube of lipstick! See page 39 pink for affirmations. Each time you look into the mirror, you will be reminded of all the amazing qualities that go together to make you WHO you are. Next time you look into the mirror, look deeply into your eyes and smile... you ARE beautiful inside and out!

~Jen

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