Guys, the media?... who's to blame for the way girls behave?

DEAR DIARY, December 2009, by Megan Ryland

Guys, the media?...
Who's to blame for the way girls behave?

Dear Megan,
I heard about your book and it sounds really good. I'm in high school now and I totally see how girls change so much. Do you think it’s media or guys that have more of a reason why girls act the way they do with being mean, trying to look a certain way, diets and all that?
~ Virginia, Devon, AB

Hey Virginia,

That’s a really good question, so I’ll try to give a good answer. I think that the media uses guys, and many other things we’re supposed to want, in order to send certain messages. This means that they’re both to blame. However, they’re not the only things at work here. I’ll get to that in a minute.

First, the media is driven by commercials and advertisers who want us to go out and buy their products. One of the ways that they get us to do this is by tying their products to ideas. These can be ideas of happiness, beauty, popularity, love, status, acceptance or almost anything. Guys are often tied to these ideas as well, in things like books, movies, television shows and magazines. Girls often come up with the equations of “lipstick = beauty” and “me + beauty = boyfriend = happy” Of course, we don’t really think of these things when we’re putting on makeup, but the subtle connections are made in our minds. So, the media uses the idea of guys (or what guys supposedly want) in order to sell us things and this often ends up persuading us how to behave.

However, the media isn’t controlling us like little drones. The fact that you asked me this question shows that you’re probably being taught about how the media influences people. We’re aware of its power. What we’re less aware of is that we’re teaching each other how we’re supposed to act or what we’re supposed to buy.

The behaviour of both the girls and guys you know, or even the others you don’t know who just go to your school, helps you to decide what is normal and how you should act. If you see a lot of people in jeans, you’re more likely to wear them. You obviously don’t have to, but it’s easy to accept the standard of the group as correct. Ideas, like those about dieting, how you treat your friends, and beauty, all spread in groups. If everyone in your school thought that kids with green hair were gorgeous, how long would it be until someone dyed their hair green?

There are a lot of reasons that we believe and do the things we do. There are even whole fields of people who study these things. Friends, family, the media, education… everything and everyone is trying to teach us something. The hard part is figuring out what kind of student you want to be, and what you want to choose to learn or to teach yourself.

~ Megan