My Style Vs. My Mom's Style

DEAR DIARY, September 2009, by Megan Ryland


MY STYLE vs.
MY MOM's STYLE
How can I just be me when my Mom
thinks that's not good enough?



Dear Diary,
My question is about parents. How much do you think us girls are influenced by how our moms are? So for me, I like to look nice but I'm not into all that makeup and tight stuff. I hate skirts and heels and stuff but it drives my mom crazy! She wants me to wear makeup and get my ears pierced and she thinks I'll never get a guy if I don't look more like a girl. What's up with that? We fight so much and I just want to be my own way. I'm not a tomboy but I'm not glam either. Help Megan!
~ Just Me, 14, New Jersey

Dear Just Me,
I think you and I are style sisters because I’m definitely seeing a resemblance! When it comes to fashion, I’m low-maintenance, but I’m not running around in track pants either. What’s great is that it sounds like you already know that the definition of you is way more complicated than just girly-girl or tomboy. If only your mom would catch up!

The thing is, moms – and all adults – each have their ideas about what a girl is supposed to be. Moms try to pass on this idea for the same reasons they try to pass on lessons and values - they think it’ll make life run much more safely and smoothly. Unfortunately, and I hate to be the one to say it, sometimes what worked for them isn’t going to be what’s best for you. Even though they love us and mean well, sometimes, they’re wrong.

Sorry, but who needs a guy, especially at fourteen? You’ve got so much else to do! I think it’s crazy that so many people think that a happy ending requires a Prince Charming. It’s even crazier to think that a Prince Charming requires doing things that just aren’t you! Trust me, you don’t need makeup to wrangle yourself a boyfriend.

Don’t let anyone convince you that who you are is wrong, even if that person is part of your family. Mothers are a big factor in most girls’ lives. They are usually the first person to show us what being a woman looks like and our main role model. There are a lot of things that we wouldn’t do if our moms hadn’t shown us how, from dressing ourselves to table manners. However, daughters are individuals and often don’t share all of their mother’s ideas about what a girl or woman is supposed to be like.

Each mother-daughter relationship is different and there’s no one solution when there’s a clash, but know that you are both going to change as you get older. In two years, you might find yourself sharing interests. In ten, both of you might be seeing eye-to-eye. As you get to know yourself, you’ll also give your mom a chance to get to know you. You’re her daughter and she loves you, even during fights. She wants you to be happy; show her that you’re happiest being who you are.

And if you’re Mom’s still concerned about guys, you can tell her that confidence is the most attractive accessory.

~ Megan

Add Comment

(Please use a nickname or your first name only. To help other girls relate, let us know your age and what province/state or country you live in. Other identifying information like email address, address, web sites or phone numbers will NOT be accepted. Thanks for your comments (: COMMENTS WILL BE POSTED WITHIN 24HRS.)

*Name:
*Name:
*Email (your email will not be displayed):
*Comment:

*By clicking "submit", you acknowledge that you are 13 or older, or have received parental permission to send your information, according to our privacy policy.

Reproduction of any article or content herein, in whole or in part, without written permission is strictly prohibited.
© Girls Can Do Anything Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved.