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March 2009 Blogs
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- Ask a Guy - in your sleep, faked sick, goals,treat guys
- Ask a Girl - in your sleep, faked sick, goals,treat guys
- Career Watch - Stylist
- Real Girl: Rachel
- Elemental Connections Part 3 of 4: EARTH
- Snowshoeing
- STOP the Negative Thinking
- Fashion Tips: Hips
- Sisters from Poland
- The Truth about Marijuana
STOP the Negative Thinking
DEAR DIARY, March 2009, by Nada Adams
STOP the
Negative Thinking
Dear Nada,
I have an ultra-good memory and there's only 1 thing about it that bothers me: I often hold a grudge! I often reflect on scary or embarrassing things that have happened to me, which leaves me either angry, ashamed, or totally creeped out. I always remember what people did that I don't like and I get upset.I don't know how to stop this habit. Please help!
~ Signed, good memory, bad problem.
Dear Memory,
“It’s all in your mind” is a very true old saying. When it comes to your emotional, physical and even your financial well being, it really is ‘all in your mind’.
When you allow your mind to focus on those negative things long enough, your heart will follow. That’s where your “grudges” are coming from - the negative memories you aren’t letting go of. Be careful what you focus your repetitive thoughts on because you might be attracting more of the same.
So you say you want to stop this habit. In order to persuade yourself about something, try saying whatever it is out loud. When you do, you may find that it is right around the corner, metaphorically speaking. The only power we have over matter is our thoughts and perspective on it. So think positive. I know, that requires plenty of practice. But you’re good at “reflecting on memories”. When you reflect, imagine instead how you wish it turned out.
Focusing on the positive sounds simple doesn’t it? But I can vouch too, that it’s not always easy. The test is to focus on the outcome you want vs. what you don’t want. Another very important character trait is ‘perseverance.’ In your quest for anything, this trait is your best friend. Remember these words: “Most people quit something right before they succeed.”
In repeating your goal over and over again to yourself, you’re telling your subconscious mind that you are going to succeed. Soon your subconscious will be telling you in your sleep that you’re going to have success. Remember perseverance. It’s a necessary ingredient in training your subconscious mind to help you get what you want.
Winston Churchill, who was one of the greatest statesmen the world has ever known, was asked to give a commencement address to the graduating class at Harrow (the all-boy’s school he had attended many years before). As Prime Minister of England in 1941 he said these lasting words: “Never give in, never, never, never, never in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” He reminds us to tell ourselves that we can do anything, and then keep at it until we do it.
Here are 3 tips for training yourself to think positive:
1. Get Present Bring awareness to your negative thoughts and then focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Keep a diary with you for a week and jot down your thoughts. Review your list, cross out the negative or critical messages and write a positive one in it’s place.
2. YOYO Feelings Start noticing when your mood shifts from good one minute to terrible the next. What were you thinking that changed your mood? Start catching these ‘negative messages’ and immediately say out loud, “cancel!”…and follow with a positive statement. A few of my personal favorites are: “...and I completely love and accept myself”; “I am beautiful and worthy just as I am”, “the only opinion of me that matters is mine.”
3. Daily Mantra Flood yourself with positive messages. Get some positive message cards from a book store or use the inspirational quotes you find throughout GCDA and make it a habit to pick one a day and repeat it as often as possible. Write it down, post it all over your house or locker, sing it, draw it, share it with friends, use it as a screen saver or on your cell phone. Your job is to relentlessly convince your mind that you’re amazing! Over the months positive thoughts will become your new norm.
You have created a habit, and only you can change it!
~ Nada