Feeling Like a LOSER

DEAR DIARY, July 2009, by Megan Ryland


Feeling Like a LOSER
...because of what someone ELSE said.




Dear Diary,
So there are these girls in my school who are considered the 'mean girls'. They are popular and the guys like them - because they are also considered the pretty girls. They have all the good clothes and they're skinny and everything, so whatever. But until recently, they didn't bother with me. I'm okay looking and one guy even likes me. So on Wednesday I wore my new jeans to school because my BFF has been convincing me to get skinny jeans forever now so I finally did and when I got to school my friends were like "wow, you look great" because it was so new for me. Then one of the mean girls is like, "She's a loser. That's the only normal clothes she has. Too bad she's getting fat!" OMG, I was so mad and embarrassed. No one had the guts to stick up for me and now I feel fat and stupid and I never want to wear skinny jeans again. People actually believe her because she's such a you know what. I know that's what she is but I really do feel like a loser now. What should I do? My Mom won't let me quit school. I'm only in grade 7.
~ Feeling Like a Loser

Dear 'Feeling like a Loser',
I know exactly the situation that you mean and I have definitely been there! I hate it when you finally go out on a limb - in fashion, in class, whatever - and someone who obviously has NO IDEA how much it took for you to do it comes along and puts you down. Just like that, you regret it. It's terrible and definitely doesn't encourage you to be brave like that again but the most important part is... don't let it get to you. Be brave. I know that sounds impossible, so let me explain.

People like that, whether they're girls or boys, don't get to decide how you dress. That is totally up to you and whether they have comments about it or not isn't the point. You're the one getting dressed in the morning; you're the one representing yourself, never someone else. Don’t give them that power. Be you, whoever you want that to be and if someone else doesn't agree - if they think you're wrong for being you - then here's the thing: they obviously don't know enough about you to be giving fashion tips. Who you are is never wrong because there is no "right" way to be. The problem is with HER, not with your skinny jeans or your body.

Take into account that there is a chance that this girl just felt a little threatened. I mean, here you are trying something new and looking fabulous. She might see you as competition or as challenging the norm just a little.

Often the 'Mean Girl' types are most comfortable when they're sitting proudly on the top of the heap without anyone changing the status quo. I think it's the same way that dictators crush small rebellions to keep everyone in line. If someone steps out of place, they remind them how scary it is to try something new.

Okay, so I'm saying insecurity made her say those terrible things... how does that help you? It means that those words weren't real. They’re not true. She just needed to find something to hurt you and it worked but it doesn't have to.

Please... listen to your friends and the people who actually care about you. The people who know you said that you looked good, right? I think I'd trust their opinion far more than some chick whose only goal was probably just to upset you. So go to school and wear whatever you want. Maybe that's skinny jeans and maybe that's not but if you hide that pair in your drawer and never put them on again, I hope it's for a better reason than letting someone else decide your style. I’m pretty sure that you’re braver than you think.

~ Megan

P.S. You're totally not a loser!

Comment

Angie
OMG don't listen to them. just try and be yourself because you are beautiful just the way you are. A couple years ago I was flat chested until age 16. I was short and picked on and they used to call me skinny and shrimp and muskito bites and said I had big shoulders. When I look back at pictures of me and some other girls at that time i was pretty and probably looked niser then most off them but i was so insecure it was awfull!!!!!! I couldnt even put my hand up in class to anser questions! It took me a long time to get over that so look in the mirror love yourself and be true to beautiful you. AND don't forget that beauty is also inside and thats most importent and those mean girls are pretty now but theyr the ones that is going to get hard looking when they get older because thier so mean and roten inside!!!
Rachel
My little sister who is also in grade 7 is going through this too. everyones picking on her because she still loves to do littlier kid things and she hangs out with some grade 5s. The principal was talking to my mom and he said that my sister looked sad this year, so my mom talked to my little sister about it and she said the reason was because everyone in her class doesnt like her and thinks shes a loser and weird. i feel bad for her, because i call her weird and such when were fighting, and i feel bad because she gets made fun of. My little sister is amazing, when im sad or crying, she comes and hugs me until i stop, she is always there for her big sister, she is so giving too, she gave her friend her tamocotchi but my mom made her get it back. lol.

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