Facing Fears - a real life story

INSPIRATIONAL GIRLS AND WOMEN, March 2008, by Jenifer Merifield

Facing Fears

Choosing to be empowered,
instead of just feeling helpless.

Nadine is a great kid. 11 years old, good friends, loving family, doing well at school, has a litter-trained bunny and a huge Bernese Mountain dog for a pet. That all seemed to crash down around her two summers ago when she found out her Mom had breast cancer.

“I was scared and upset,” she recalls. “My little brother’s biological Mom died of cancer and so I thought that meant my Mom would die too.”

“All kinds of things ran through my mind. What if we lost the dog because we couldn’t look after her? Maybe I won’t be able to have sleep overs or see my friends if my Mom couldn’t drive me places any more. The worst part was the ‘cancer’ word. It scared me.”

Nadine’s Mom Susan had surgery as soon as they discovered her cancer. After the surgery Nadine felt very clingy and wanted to be with her Mom as much as possible. They watched TV together, they hung out and sat together often. She didn’t spend much time with her friends because she was afraid to leave her Mom’s side.

Luckily, Nadine’s Nana came over to help out a lot and her Dad was always very supportive. He would sometimes take her out just to talk, and he confessed that he was a little scared too.

Nadine made a very mature decision one day. She decided to face her fear of her Mom’s cancer, and be a part of making it better. She would do whatever she could to support her Mom, be there for her, and understand as much as she could.

“You know what,” Nadine remembers, “when I learned about chemo and cancer and all that, I felt so much better and that’s when I stopped being scared.”

The doctors and nurses at the hospital were wonderful. When Nadine went with her Mom for chemo, they took the time to sit and explain everything to her. “They were so nice,” said Nadine.

“I even went with my Mom to shave her head when the chemotherapy started to make her hair fall out. It was neat to touch her head, it felt so cool.”

“My Mom knew it would grow back ventually, so she didn’t get too upset about it.”

At school, Nadine was getting a lot of comfort and support from her teachers and peers. One teacher in particular was very helpful and there for her to talk to. She told Nadine about the Breast Cancer Walk for a Cure.

With Dad and little brother at the finish line, Nadine and her Mom did the walk. “It was exciting and sad at the same time to see all the people and other kids who were dealing with cancer in their lives in some way. Mostly I felt really good like I was part of finding a cure. I got even closer to my Mom that day.”

Today, Nadine and her Mom believe that the cancer is gone for good. They both realized that even during the worst of it, life goes on, it always does, and the best thing you can do is try to be positive and learn as much as you can. There are a lot of people out there like your teachers, nurses, friends and social workers who are very supportive and who you may not know have gone through something similar.

Nadine’s message to you, if you should be going through something like this: “Go to chemo and find out all you can. Most of all, still do everything you always did. You have to live your life.”

Nadine and her Mom were certainly blessed. Did you know that according to our reader poll, a whopping 92% of you know someone who has or had cancer?! Read this issue’s Ask Lori and Liane to learn some facts about cancer and how to deal with it if it affects your life.

~ Jenifer

Girls Can Do Anything Magazine

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Facing Fears - a real life story

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