My Body Isn't Developing Fast Enough!

DEAR DIARY, July 2010, by Megan Ryland


My Body Isn't
Developing Fast Enough!
How to deal with it when your body
is on it's OWN schedule.


Dear Megan,
This is so embarrassing. I'm in 7th grade and I haven't started "girl stuff" like everyone else. I am the only one who doesn't need a bra and I even look younger than everyone else. The boys always tease the girls with big "you know", but it makes them laugh and smile. Then they tease me for not having any and they tell me I should be a boy because I'm flat. It doesn't make me laugh and smile. Please help.
~ Embarrassed


Dear Embarassed,

So, I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that the adults were right when they said that everyone develops at their own rate and that everyone has their own “normal.” You’ve just got to tough out the fact that your body is on its own schedule and it will hurry for no one. The good news is that everyone has their own “normal” that develops at their own rate. This means that your level of “development” is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and is totally normal for you. You’re not weird. You’re just different, EVERYONE is different. What’s hard is that because everyone’s body is changing differently, nearly everyone is uncomfortable with how fast or slow it’s happening. While the other girls may be laughing and smiling on the outside, I bet some of them aren’t so happy about the attention they get. A lot of girls feel equally uncomfortable as you are right now about getting “girl stuff” earlier than others. They’ll get teased or be expected to behave in ways that they aren’t ready for. There’s disadvantages to both, so don’t feel like you’re alone in this. Everyone just wants to be “normal.”

It’s hard to feel different and classmates can sometimes take advantage of that, especially when they are uncomfortable too. As your example reveals, there’s going to be kids who will find something to tease about, no matter what. At this point, it becomes about how you take the teasing. It can be scary to stand up for yourself, or hard to know what to say, but the most important response to comments is to remember a few simple things.

One, there’s no right way or time for your body to change.
Two, when the boys’ voices start changing and cracking, they will be just as uncomfortable and teased as you! What goes around comes around. But try not to tease them when it happens, since you know how bad it feels.
Three, there is no single way to be a girl. Just because you don’t wear a bra doesn’t make you any less of a smart, pretty, girl who’s great to be around. Also, trust me when I say that these boys will likely be regretting their teasing one day when they realize you’re a knockout.

Just one final thought. Have you asked your mom about this at all? Sometimes a girl will develop kind of like her mom, so maybe she’s been through what you’re going through and has some tips!

~ Megan


Comment

MADDY~~~~~~:)
i feel like im uncomfortable with my body im and teased because i have big feet and (dumbo ears:))i am called fat but im not. i am loosing my confadence im not overly developed but i am treated diffrently guys talk and treat me rude. please give me advise.
Emily, 13
I really enjoyed this Dear Diary. I sorta came from the opposite end.. I started developing when I was in grade 4, and I got my period when I was ten. I felt so self conscious because none of this was happening to any of the other girls in my class. In fact, since my class is so small (6 girls, 6 guys) still none of the girls have gotten their periods, but they have started developing and it makes me feel not so alone. But there still is girls who are "flat", but that's ok because everyone knows they will develop eventually, and most people still treat them the same.

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