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- First Kiss, was it a mistake?
- Interview with a Bully
- Death and the Loss of a Loved One
- Interview with a girl who has been bullied
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December 2007 Blogs
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- Interview with a girl who has been bullied
- Death and the Loss of a Loved One
- What colours mean: Red
- Interview with a Bully
- Ask a Guy - holiday faves, buying gifts for girls, receive from a girl, winter faves
- I'm not afraid of the Big Bad Money
- Holiday Traditions
Interview with a girl who has been bullied
DEAR DIARY, December 2007, Jenifer Merifield
Interview with a
Girl who has
Been Bullied
Now meet Jazmyn. That IS her real name and she is proud of who she is. Jazmyn was the victim of bullies. Other kids who said things that made her feel like she didn’t fit in, and had her questioning the way she looked and where she came from.
Jazmyn came to Canada when she was just a baby, not even one year old. Her birthplace was Shiyan Hubei China, a remote city where the views are very different from ours in Canada. They have had a ‘one child’ policy there since 1979. That’s where families are only allowed to have one child to manage the ever-increasing population challenges. Boys are often preferred since they are stronger and able to do more work, and unfortunately, many girls therefor get sent to orphanages. That’s what happened to Jazmyn. “My biological Mom sent me to an orphanage” explained Jazmyn, “That’s where my new Mom and Dad found me. It turned out to be a good thing. They flew to China to get me when I was a baby.”
When did it start?
Kindergarten is when the teasing started. Back then, kids made fun of her nose being flat. Over the years, and “especially in grade five” Jazmyn recalls, the teasing continued and the bullying started. “One time, after we lost the county volleyball game, some of the kids mocked that it was because of the Chinese girl.” They made fun of her skin colour, her heritage, and even of her friends - just because they were friends with ‘the Chinese girl’.
“It really hurt my feelings” says Jazmyn.
I would come home and be so sad sometimes. It made me cry and feel all alone. If I told, I would be bullied for telling.
After a while, Jazmyn realized that those same bullies were picking on other kids too, if they were over weight or different in some other way. It was then that her Mom sat her down and told her she needed to tell people the truth of how they were hurting her. That she was a real person with feelings.
The Family Tree
At school in grade five they all had an assignment to do a family tree. “I felt intimidated doing it because I was worried about people knowing the truth about me. I was teased about being adopted and because I didn’t know who my real Mom was. They laughed at me about doing a family tree,” remembers Jazmyn.
The cool thing that happened was that when people found out the truth about where she came from and who her family was, they started to have compassion and be nicer to her. Jazmyn learned that no matter what, she had to be herself, and not who they wanted her to be.
What now?
By grade 6, the bullying stopped. She went on with her days and no one made fun of her skin, her nose, or where she came from any more. She thinks, “they just didn’t understand, that’s all.” And too bad that not understanding causes such anger and hostility toward others.
“This article is important to me because I can relate to lots of other girls who are too scared to tell someone they are being bullied. Maybe if they read my story they can do something about it and feel better.” says Jazmyn.
You would never know how difficult it was for her just a short time ago if you saw her with her friends today. They sing and dance together, are very energetic and laugh all the time. Jazmyn actually likes going to school now.
“I like that I was adopted. I’m sure my life would have been even harder if I stayed in China. My new Mom and Dad are funny and so nice. They’re not too strict and they really look out for me. I have a brother too and lots of extended family who have always accepted me for who I am.”
Since all the bullying has stopped, Jazmyn has met other adopted Chinese girls and their Canadian Moms. “It makes me feel like I fit in to know there are others like me.”
Her message to bullies: “You wouldn’t want anyone to treat you that way. Think about it, and stop.” And her message to girls being bullied: “Stand up to your bullies or tell your parents or principal. Tell them how much it hurts. Just always be yourself, maybe one day they will understand.”
We are all Sisters!
Don’t be so quick to judge others, we are all people with feelings and families and challenges of our own. Kindness attracts more kindness, so give to others what you would like to receive.
~ Jenifer
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bullying, dear diary, bullied, anger, compassion, Chinese, principal, skin colour, heritage, picking on kids, hostility, adoption, kindness