More Dear Diary Blogs
- My Body Isn't Developing Fast Enough!
- It's Demanding to be PERFECT!
- OBSESSED with celebrities!
- Guys, the media?... who's to blame for the way girls behave?
- Trying To Be Better Than BORING
- My Style Vs. My Mom's Style
- How do siblings stop fighting and start getting along?
- Bad Driving
- Feeling Like a LOSER
- What's Wrong With My BFF?
- The Truth about Marijuana
- STOP the Negative Thinking
- Just Tired and Sad? Or is it Depression?
- Figuring Out Your FUTURE!
- Starting your own Diary
- An Awkward Topic
- Sister Squabbles
- Sweating and smelly, what's a girl to do?
- Dealing with Being Teased
- Boys on the Brain!
- Feeling Stuck When Friends Are Changing
- SWEARING: What's the big deal?
- First Kiss, was it a mistake?
- Interview with a Bully
- Death and the Loss of a Loved One
- Interview with a girl who has been bullied
- My parents divorced...and it gets worse!
- Sisters - same genes, just not the same 'jeans'
- Oh No...BFFs like the same guy!
- Sometimes I really DON'T LIKE my Mom!
- I tried smoking. Now how do I say no?
- How Come I'm Not Allowed?
- Are My Friends Really Friends?
July 2009 Blogs
Feeling Like a LOSER
DEAR DIARY, July 2009, by Megan Ryland
Feeling Like a LOSER
...because of what someone ELSE said.
So there are these girls in my school who are considered the 'mean girls'. They are popular and the guys like them - because they are also considered the pretty girls. They have all the good clothes and they're skinny and everything, so whatever. But until recently, they didn't bother with me. I'm okay looking and one guy even likes me. So on Wednesday I wore my new jeans to school because my BFF has been convincing me to get skinny jeans forever now so I finally did and when I got to school my friends were like "wow, you look great" because it was so new for me. Then one of the mean girls is like, "She's a loser. That's the only normal clothes she has. Too bad she's getting fat!" OMG, I was so mad and embarrassed. No one had the guts to stick up for me and now I feel fat and stupid and I never want to wear skinny jeans again. People actually believe her because she's such a you know what. I know that's what she is but I really do feel like a loser now. What should I do? My Mom won't let me quit school. I'm only in grade 7.
~ Feeling Like a Loser
Dear 'Feeling like a Loser',
I know exactly the situation that you mean and I have definitely been there! I hate it when you finally go out on a limb - in fashion, in class, whatever - and someone who obviously has NO IDEA how much it took for you to do it comes along and puts you down. Just like that, you regret it. It's terrible and definitely doesn't encourage you to be brave like that again but the most important part is... don't let it get to you. Be brave. I know that sounds impossible, so let me explain.
People like that, whether they're girls or boys, don't get to decide how you dress. That is totally up to you and whether they have comments about it or not isn't the point. You're the one getting dressed in the morning; you're the one representing yourself, never someone else. Don’t give them that power. Be you, whoever you want that to be and if someone else doesn't agree - if they think you're wrong for being you - then here's the thing: they obviously don't know enough about you to be giving fashion tips. Who you are is never wrong because there is no "right" way to be. The problem is with HER, not with your skinny jeans or your body.
Take into account that there is a chance that this girl just felt a little threatened. I mean, here you are trying something new and looking fabulous. She might see you as competition or as challenging the norm just a little.
Often the 'Mean Girl' types are most comfortable when they're sitting proudly on the top of the heap without anyone changing the status quo. I think it's the same way that dictators crush small rebellions to keep everyone in line. If someone steps out of place, they remind them how scary it is to try something new.
Okay, so I'm saying insecurity made her say those terrible things... how does that help you? It means that those words weren't real. They’re not true. She just needed to find something to hurt you and it worked but it doesn't have to.
Please... listen to your friends and the people who actually care about you. The people who know you said that you looked good, right? I think I'd trust their opinion far more than some chick whose only goal was probably just to upset you. So go to school and wear whatever you want. Maybe that's skinny jeans and maybe that's not but if you hide that pair in your drawer and never put them on again, I hope it's for a better reason than letting someone else decide your style. I’m pretty sure that you’re braver than you think.
P.S. You're totally not a loser!