READER OPINIONS: Why do guys/girls fight the way they do?

BOYS, July 2008, by Jenifer Merifield

READER'S OPINIONS ON:

Guys & Girls
why do they fight
the way they do?


Guys and girls are different in a lot of ways. One of those ways is the how they fight. For most guys, when they get really mad at each other it’s dealt with physically and doesn’t last long. We’ve all seen hockey games where guys body check each other and then have an all out fight. Looks serious! But next thing you know they’re laughing together in the locker room after the game.

Girls, no way! For most, if there is anger, it lasts! Girls have been known to fight dirty in a non-physical way from holding grudges to starting rumours to threats and cyber bullying. Now a days physical fighting isn’t rare and is getting more common.

We put the question out there (why do you think girls can be so competitive and mean to each other?) to girls on our web site and to guys through our Cross Canada Leadership Committee, to find out WHY you all think girls and guys deal with conflict between each other SO DIFFERENTLY. Here’s what you said:

Morgan, 13
I think it is because they all want to be the best and seen as the best. I think the media has a role in this too because they think the perfect girl should be athletic and thin. They influence that if you aren’t thin and beautiful you are nothing. So if you are these things you are perfect but no one ever feels like they can be that perfect.

Michael, 15
Girls are different than guys and I think we have different personalities which effects the way we fight. Guys are competitive and mean too, we just show it in different ways.

Shannon, 14
I think it’s because when we don’t get what we want we usually get intimidated so we try to take it from others.

Yasha, 12
Well to start off us girls can be competitive because we think that “ oh she is looking sooo much better than me ” so that girl feels pressured to go to the mall and buy all this stuff to be even. It’s jealousy! Why can’t we just go to that girl and tell her she is very pretty? Another reason is some girls think that other girls are smarter than her. Smartness does count for your future job but if you aren’t jealous that she is smarter than you, you two could be friends. I think competitive girls are just jealous.

Ben, 13
We get over being mad because we have interests other than what we look like and what everyone thinks of us. Girls who are mean are the ones who have nothing better to do.

Alyssa
Girls can be so competitive because of many things but personally, I say it’s mostly jealousy. Girls are always comparing themselves to other girls to make themselves look and feel better about themselves. When this happens girls start telling secrets and nasty rumours about each other. As this starts happening girls start yelling at each other and it starts to get into a cat fight. I think we should all just become friends. To change this you have to work with one another whether it’s your worst enemy or an old friend, it doesn’t matter. You just have to all become friends. You don’t even have to like each other but you could just wave your hand or say a nice “hi” once in a while. It will at least help the other person to think “hey, she just said hi to me. That was really nice.”

Eric, 14
Competitive can be a good thing with guys but I think girls are malicious. That’s why they are mean. They plan and plot mean things. Scary.

Maggie, 16
I think it’s because we don’t fight each other with our hands!

Sara, 16
I think the main reason for the competition and meanness between girls is usually based on jealousy, and also just plain misunderstandings. A few years ago I said I really didn’t like these girls from my church. They were both really pretty and seemed to always get the attention of guys. They also had lots of friends while at the time I didn’t. I thought they didn’t like me because they thought they were better than me. I never really talked to them, and if I did I was really shy. Once I started opening up and being friendly I found them to be really fun to hang around with. Now we’re friends and I found out that they actually thought I didn’t like them before. They also complimented me on my looks, which made me feel good. It seems that girls judge other girls right away before they get to know them. Issues that lead to drama are a lot of the time caused by a misinterpretation of a comment or look.

Andi, 12
I think it’s all about popularity and peer pressure. Most  girls will do just about anything to be Queen Bee. It can be difficult to be yourself when your peers and the media are trying to tell you otherwise. As hard as it may be, try to be one person: You. You can be your own role model.

Ryan, 13
I think guys are massively more aggressive than girls because girls like to talk. We guys just don’t.

KJ, 14
I think girls are like actors and they don’t know how to just be themselves. I don’t blame them with how the media makes girls and women look so different than reality. Guys are mean and competitive too but at least we can be ourselves and we don’t care half as much about what everyone else thinks.

Anonymous
I think it’s because girls want to be like someone else or they just want to show off. Either way the main reason is not really trying to be you. Most girls don’t know that.You could be competitive and mean but you won’t get an award for doing that. We can change this by learning that you don’t have to be mean or competitive to show off. Just be you and this will change the thought that people had about you. Doing this can get you more friends.

Jonah, 13
I think that girls just like to mouth off and guys would rather fist fight.

Michele, 12
I think that most girls are so mean to each other because either they’re jealous of each other, fighting over popularity, or trying to impress or put down someone else. To stop this we can influence girls to just be nice to each other, by doing that to them.

Eric, 13
I think girls act that way because they have been friends longer than guys. If guys have fights they are over in like two day, they don’t often have fights like girls do.

Lily, 13
I think girls can be so competitive and mean because of jealousy. Many girls want to be better and prettier then everyone else. Another reason I think is guys. Many girls want to impress guys by trying to do everything better than other girls to get the guys’ attention.

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